A goodbye letter in 5 acts

A goodbye letter in 5 acts, which I admit, is too many acts, but I have known you a long time

Act 1
When we met in 1995(ish) I thought you were the coolest human ever, at a time when being cool was the most important thing, and not just ‘cuz you were dating Nadia…. But also not not ‘cuz you were dating Nadia… somewhere in the middle there 🙂

You had a big boy job, when most of my crew were still in school, or in the hospitality industry. But I never heard you say “I’m outta here, I have to go to work tomorrow” and honestly, you should definitely have gone home cuz you had work the next day! During the City paper days, you would dj at the cave, drinking more rum than I thought was possible (at the time), hang out for a couple hours, then go to work to put the paper to bed…. When you’re in your twenties that kind of stamina made you a legend.

If I am honest, despite my fanboy feelings (or maybe because of them) we were never really “friends”. The irony of the all-inclusive PLUR rave scene, is, it was extremely click-y, and our friendship venn diagram didn’t really overlap. Despite that, you were a class act! When I was djing swing at the cave, you came to hang out every Friday. You didn’t want to be there (I didn’t want to be there), but you came to show your support, and I really appreciated that. Thank you!

Act 2
Can we be friends? I cant remember what the impetus was, you broke up with someone, or I got divorced? but 15 – 20 ish years ago I decided we should be “friends”, like hang out and do stuff “friends”. I invited you to dinner, denied. Out to a movie, denied. Out for drinks, denied, rinse and repeat. There was a few months there, where I made a sincere attempt to hang out, and you were not interested (jerk). I would always stop by blue cactus on the way to merc to say hi, a couple times, I abandoned my nights plans to hang out with you instead. Once we were so engaged in conversation, you forgot you were the dj… yes, that WAS an awkward silence, yes I was asked to leave (sorry about that). Another night, you abandoned your Beyoncé (or whatever crap you were spinning) and we did an old school 90s house classic night, much to the chagrin of the patrons.

Act 3
Jim disappears. I stopped going out, you stopped going out…. I didn’t really see or hear from you for a few years

Act 4
The covid times. I moved to your neighbourhood march 1st 2020. Covid started a couple weeks later. One day in late March I was walking by Hasan’s (the dep across the street from your apartment), I decided now was the time! I picked up a six pack. Stood outside your window and screamed for you to come out and have a drink, it was our Romeo and Juliet moment :). We sat in your driveway on lawn chairs older than me. Shared a six pack… then another six pack. Couple days later, I picked up a couple sugary coolers, which you hated, but drank, we hung out in those ratty ass lawn chairs, talking about “the good old days” but mostly the current bad days. The covid times, the lockdowns, and how it was destroying both our lives…. And guess what?!?!? Do you know what cranky old men like? Other cranky old me!!! When I stopped trying, and quite by accident, we became friends.

December 31 2020 (new years eve), It was easily minus 20, It was cold. Real cold, but we hung out on those ratty ass chairs, you in your snow board gear, be in my Canada goose (hood up), drinking 10 year old Dewars. Not 10 years old cuz it was fancy, 10 years old cuz it had sat untouched in your apartment for that long. That was the first time I was in your apartment (that’s all I’m gonna say about that).

In February 2022 we went to the counter protest. I picked you up late am, coffee in hand, you came out hot!! There was pro trucker protesters streaming past your place and over the bridge, and before you even said “hi” you were cussing out the protesters. I had a sneaking suspicion I was gonna die that day :). Spoiler we did not die that day…. But we sure as fuck didn’t make any new friends.

I pretty consistently get passes for Bluesfest, but If I am honest, I think live music is stupid, I just go cuz I know I’m going to know lots of people there. Turns out, I just wasn’t doing Bluesfest right. Cuz the summer of 2022 we did Bluesfest together, and can I say, it was by far the best Bluesfest I ever experienced. Every day for 10 days you would say you weren’t going #CrankyOldManSyndrome, and every night for 10 days I swung by and picked you up anyway. You complained the entire way there, saying you didnt want to go, you weren’t going to have a good time etc etc. Then when we walked through the gates a different Jim emerged. You knew every band, you knew their back stories. You mocked the people hanging out at the main stage, cuz that “wasn’t where the action was”. It was the highlight of the summer, of what was a pretty great, post covid summer.

Act 5
The start of the dark times. It was a slow winter for you at work, a client didn’t pay, you were in a dark place. By the time Bluesfest 2023 rolled around you had started to go full hermit. Every day you would make it clear you were not going to go (to Bluesfest), and every night I would swing by to pick you up anyway. Sadly that year, you weren’t having it. I think we only did one or two days that year. Near the end of Bluesfest it happened. When you got outta the hospital you came back a different person. I promised your brothers I would not drink with you again, and I didn’t. We DID hang out though. We went to every night of the fireworks, complain about how many people were there, and how kids are the worst…. We were living the cranky old man dream. You came over to do laundry and have dinner a bunch of times…. You forgot your laundry every single time (dork). We still went full king of the hill, hanging out at the end of your driveway, but it wasn’t the same.

The dark times. That winter, you did, in fact, go full hermit. Unanswered text messages, unanswered phone calls. Once a month (more or less) you would emerge from your self-imposed quarantine. Answer a text message with a two word answer, couple times you even called me. Which was more than most other people were getting, so for that, thank you.

I saw you on the street a few times, you were always happy to see me, but we didn’t really hang out. I’m sorry I didn’t make you come out, I’m sorry I didn’t make you come over for dinner (and not do laundry) I’m sorry I let our friendship peter out. I had my reasons, but in hindsight, they are all pretty weak sauce. I knew you were in a dark place, and I did nothing. I’m sorry.

Thank you covid, and proximity for giving me a true friend. Thank you Jim Reilly, I will always cherish the few years that we got to hang out. You were, a very cool, and very cranky dude.